Thomas C. Archer

 

. . . is a graduate of Saint Joseph’s University and currently resides in Drexel Hill, PA. He is the author of the novel Burnt Popcorn And Cheap Perfume, and is now at work on his second novel.
 

 

 

Getting Naked with the Defeos

by Thomas C. Archer

 

Fuck my life!

          I am so miserable right now. My wife Linda and I are spending an evening with our friends Keith and Katie DeFeo. They have invited us over to their six hundred thousand dollar home to celebrate the completion of their new pool.

          Right now we are finishing the hamburgers and hot dogs that Keith cooked to perfection on the grill. Linda is raving about how delicious they are, stating that, “the inside is as tender as the outside.”

          I feel like screaming, “Oh, for Christ’s sake, they’re not that fucking good! You act like I’ve never grilled a decent meal.”

          I can’t help myself. Everything about Keith and Katie make me feel inadequate. It’s like my wife gets a taste of what I will never be able to offer whenever we spend time with them, and then secretly thinks of me as less of a man when we return to our modest house, located in a neighborhood not half as expensive as this one, or anywhere near as scenic.

          Keith is opening a bottle of Dom Perignon, and I feel like grabbing it and smashing it over his fucking head. Linda giggles flirtatiously as he pours her a generous serving. It makes me sick, the way she allows these two to wine and dine us, offering us a glimpse into their carefree world of wealth and luxury, only so we can go back home later tonight and feel inferior when we compare what we have.

          “That’s enough, Keith,” Linda says, raising her hand. “I’m already really buzzed.”

          This makes Keith and Katie laugh and Katie says, “That’s what good alcohol is for.” She holds her glass up. “Cheers! To many more happy years together!”

          I watch Katie lift her glass to her lips and sip her champagne. She does this in her usual manner, passionately, sensually, as if every movement is sexual and arousing to her.

          Her tongue slides across her lips, and I imagine it tracing the length of my cock. Her delicate hands, her milky skin, her painted nails, fill me with intense longing, and I imagine her and I secretly meeting later tonight, naked, fucking so hard, until we are both drenched in sweat and have to resume our fuck session in the pool.

          “Lou, drink up,” Keith says, ruining my fantasy, and again I feel like smashing his head in.

          It’s not that I hate Keith.

          I don’t.

          He has never been anything but a good friend. He does not flaunt his wealth, look down on Linda and I, or ever not treat me as anything but an equal. The problem is with me, and that’s the most irritating part. I am unable to rid myself of the envy that overwhelms me whenever I am around him. I know that by time this night is over, like every other evening spent with him and Katie, I will leave feeling guilty, hating myself, physically ill from jealousy.

          We finish the bottle of champagne in minutes and are all feeling the effects.

          “Alright,” Keith says, “it’s time to have some fun. Who’s ready to go skinny-dipping?”

          All of us are silent and then we burst out laughing.

          “I don’t know,” Linda says. “Are you sure the kids are asleep?”

          I am stunned. Normally Linda would never consider doing such a thing. Again my anger surfaces, and it is directed at Keith. I hate him for being able to get my wife to consider doing something she wouldn’t do for me even if I begged her.

          That son of a bitch! My wife, as well as every woman, is powerless against his charm, self-assurance, and persuasion, the same persuasion that bought him this incredible house, his beautiful wife, his perfect children.

          OH I DO FUCKING HATE HIM!

          “Trust me,” Keith says, “the kids are asleep. And who gives a shit if they aren’t?  They’re nine and ten years old. It’s not like they’ll be jerking off if they see us.”

          “Keith,” Katie says.

          “What? Oh come on, that’s what we got this thing for. You guys cannot tell me you don’t want to. Now let’s go, let’s go, let’s go,” he says, clapping his hands together.

          None of us move.

          “Alright,” Keith says, opening the bottle of Jack Daniel’s we enjoyed earlier this afternoon. “We are all going to do two shots. When we are finished we will all be relaxed and recognize we are among friends, understanding there is no reason to feel uncomfortable. It’s not like we’re getting ready for an orgy. Unless, of course, we’d like to,” he says laughing. “We’re just getting naked, celebrating our freedom.”

          Yeah, celebrating YOUR freedom! The fucking freedom that only YOUR kind of money can buy! Must be nice, my friend. Must be real fucking nice to have everything in your life always work out perfectly!

          “So, are we ready?” he asks, pouring us shots without waiting for a response.

          Soon we are all holding our shot glasses and Keith is counting to three.

          I am getting anxious. Even though I cannot pass up this opportunity, I am not thrilled about it. I will not miss the chance to see Katie naked, but I am not looking forward to her and Keith seeing me naked. It’s not that my body is poor. I am still lean, of average height, have all my hair, but I do not have the athletic build that Keith does. He is leaner, taller, and in better shape.  I know that Katie and Linda will compare me with him, and as usual, I bet I won’t measure up.

          We all finish our first shot and then Keith instantly refills our glasses, and immediately gulps his down.

          “And just to show all of you I’m not the chicken-shits you are, I’ll go first,” he says and drops his swim trunks in front of us. His eyes meet Linda’s.  I know he wants her to check him out because he doesn’t turn around and jump in the pool for what seems an eternity.

          Just as I feared his dick is bigger than mine, and I feel like ripping it off and shoving it up his ass.

          “Come on, losers,” he says, splashing us with water. “I will count to ten. By the time I reach ten, you will all be naked and in the water. Okay, ONE!”

          We all stand up. I turn my back to everyone and remove my swim trunks fast and then jump into the pool even faster. When I come up from under water I get a quick glimpse of Katie jumping in. Her breasts are as firm as I imagined, larger than Linda’s, her hips thinner, and her legs more solid. Oh, I’d love to fuck her brains out! She swims across the pool and I can make out a blurred image of her tight body. She surfaces when she reaches the far end, and I see her nipples rise above the water until she kneels down so that only her neck is above water level.

          “Eight,” Keith yells.

          Linda is the last to jump in.  I notice Keith watching her. This pisses me off. I am not only angry with him, but also at Linda for taking so long. I am stunned by her lack of shame, especially since her body is so sloppy in comparison to Katie’s.

          She jumps in, producing the kind of splash that whales make when they jump out of the water and then plunge back in. She resurfaces and pushes her hair away from her face. It looks like a rat’s nest now that the water has mixed with the disgusting amount of hairspray in it.

          I notice that Katie doesn’t seem to wear any hairspray. Her hair is soft, silky, naturally, of course, because her and Keith are perfect.

I imagine Katie on top me, naked, kissing my neck, the long strands of her hair brushing against my chest, then stomach, as she lowers her face to find my cock.

          “This is so great,” Linda says, giggling like a little girl.

          OH YES, THIS IS JUST GREAT! TOO BAD MY HUSBAND DOESN’T MAKE ENOUGH MONEY TO ALLOW US TO BUY A POOL. I WOULD REALLY LOVE IT. GOSH, KATIE, IT MUST BE GREAT TO HAVE A HUSBAND AS HANDSOME, POWERFUL, AND RICH AS KEITH. YOU’RE SO LUCKY.

          We swim around and Keith and Katie get into a playful splashing match. Linda tries to take part by splashing me, but I swim to the deep end, ignoring their childish behavior.

          I tread water and stare at Katie, who is unaware that she is swimming in shallow water and I have a great view of her tits.  I feel like swimming up to her and smashing them against my face, rubbing the nipples against my lips, sucking them hard, until she grabs my head, and pushes me down to eat her pussy.           

          I am getting hard, so I stop my fantasy and focus on how unhappy I am with my life. I look at Keith, confidently standing next to Katie, his chest bigger than mine, his shoulders spaced further apart.

          The water is warm and relaxing. The alcohol I consumed has made my bladder full, so I relieve myself. I am pretty drunk and this makes me laugh.

          Keith sees me laughing and says, “Having fun, Lou?”    

         Yeah, I’m having fun. I’m having lots of fun knowing that you will soon be swimming in my piss, you fucker! Swim around Keith. Swim until you are gasping for air and my piss gets into your mouth.

          They swim towards me and soon we are treading water. Linda tires after a minute, and has to grab the edge of the pool. Katie doesn’t want to make Linda feel insecure with how out of shape she is, so she swims next to her and also grabs the edge.     

          “You know, we were talking last night,” Keith says. “Wouldn’t it be great to rent a house this summer, just the four of us?”

          “What about the kids?” Linda asks.

          “My mom and dad are dying to spend some time with them. They offered to let them stay down Daytona for a week so that Katie and I could have some time to ourselves. So we’ve decided to rent a house somewhere, and we were hoping you guys would join us. Think about it. Good company, good scenery, good wine. It will be paradise. We’ll spend our days on the beach, our nights dining out. It will be a blast! What do you think?”

          Linda begins speaking before I have a chance.

          “Well, to be honest, Lou and I were thinking about spending some time around the house this year for our vacation. Although, believe me, I would love to do it. It’s just that our finances are tight. With the layoff last year, and the new job not paying as much, we have to be careful. We had to charge more than we would have liked for Christmas, and most of our income tax return went to either that or other bills. God knows we have plenty,” she says laughing.

          Yeah, that’s right. We don’t have the money you guys do.  We have to charge to stay alive, living from paycheck to paycheck. You know how tough things can be when your husband gets laid off and isn’t the ambitious type. We all suffer for it. But we’re happy in our own way. We are. Really.

“Well what if we were to take care of the rent for the week?” Keith says. “Come on, please? You’re the only couple we would ask.”

          Linda smiles and looks over at me. Her eyes are begging.

          Please Lou. Let’s do this. You owe me. You owe me for being a failure. For not being able to give me children. For making me have to work and worry about every cent I spend. For feeling depressed when the women at the office tell me about their vacations. Please Lou?

          “That’s not right, Keith,” I say. “I wouldn’t feel comfortable letting you pay for the whole week.           Maybe we could go somewhere in winter, when Linda and I have some money saved.”

“Oh, don’t be a party pooper,” Katie says. “It’s our pleasure. I will be so bored without you guys.”

Yeah, you’ll be so bored without the couple that makes you feel even better about your great lives. Maybe we WILL come. Maybe when Keith is out, I’ll come into your bedroom and stick my fuckstick in your mouth, and facefuck you until you throw up.

          “Linda,” Katie says, “why don’t we check on the kids and let the guys discuss the details. Besides, I have to go to the bathroom and I need some painkillers. My head is pounding from too many martinis.”

          They both laugh. “Okay,” Linda says. Keith and I watch them get out of the pool.

          “We’ll be right back,” Katie says, wrapping a towel around her petite body. They both begin walking towards the house. Katie stops for a second and says, “Hey, does anyone else have a headache? I just remembered we have some Percocet left over from when Keith pulled his shoulder cutting down that tree.”

          “I’m okay,” I say.

          “Me too,” Keith says.

          Linda gives me a look that reveals her true feelings with regards to the proposed vacation. I can feel her anger and this makes my hands tighten into fists.

          I can read her thoughts.

          Swallow your pride. Don’t be a fool. Don’t pass up this opportunity. I am as unhappy as you are.

          I hate her!

          I hate everyone.

          I feel like I am losing control.

          I know I am. And it feels good. It feels great!

          Keith and I are silent for a few minutes. He begins to say, “Lou, just give it some thought. You and Linda deserve it.”

          I hold up my hand and he shuts up. I dunk my head under water. When I come back up I remain silent, staring at Keith, my eyes filled with resentment and bitterness. Then I smile and begin laughing. “Keith, I have to tell you something.”

          He leans back against the side of the pool. “Okay, what’s up, man?”

I move close to him, my eyes hard, unblinking, my mouth a sinister smile. And without thinking I begin speaking and watch Keith’s face whiten as I unleash twenty years of hidden hostility. I ask him how he can be so blind! Don’t you understand our friendship has been nothing but a lie since high school? Can’t you understand I want to see you lose everything – your house, your wife, your children? Everything!

          As he steps backward I go on to tell him how useless his friendship has been, how being the godfather of his firstborn  means nothing to me, how I’ve felt nothing but resentment and pure hatred for him and his stupid carefree life.

          Then, oh then, I tell him that Katie and I are in love. She’s too afraid to tell him, so I have to do it for her.  She moans and screams as I bring her to multiple orgasms, and she’s confided to me that she has never been so sexually satisfied by another man and that the only thing Keith has been able to give her is a life of financial freedom. And so fuck you, Keith. And the truth is out now Keith. You’re nothing. Not to me. Not to your wife.

          And he says he doesn’t believe me!

          So, believe what you want Keith. It’s not going to make any difference. I hate you and I have always hated you.
            And then I climb out of the pool and walk to the table where the Jack Daniel’s bottle lay. I pick it up, gripping it tightly in my hand as I hear Keith climbing out of the pool. I raise it as high as I can and –

          “Lou, hey?” Keith says, snapping the way a hypnotist would to bring someone out of a trance.           “So what was it you wanted to tell me?”

          I have an erection. It’s nearly touching Keith’s leg and he notices and says, “You, uh, seem a bit excited there, my friend.”

          I step back and look down at my throbbing penis, trying to think of an excuse for its appearance. Feeling defeated and like a total loser, I say, “Oh, I just drank too much. I need to take a piss.”

          Keith laughs. “That’s a relief. Just do me a favor. Don’t go in the pool, buddy.”