As the web editor at Flatmancrooked, I’m fascinated by how stories manifest in the 21st century. We spend a lot of time online, discussing in email threads or through instant messages, everything from business to sex. I care much less about business.

The other day I was chatting in Gmail with a friend from New York, who, in another window, was trying to seduce a guy she’d met online. She sent me a portion of the transcript. It was clever and surprisingly explicit. Their conversation, which they’d contributed to without considering its narrative value, ended up containing a clear arc, with a climax, a turn, and a denouement. The dialogue, with a little editing, is the stuff of good fiction.

Over the next few months I will, from time to time, publish these sorts of excerpts. Not all will be sexual. I simply want to see if there’s art in this ad hoc digital communication-and I believe there is.

All names, of course, have been edited to protect the privacy of those who might not wish these words public.

esty111: attempt deux.
bigsuccor: hi who is this?
esty111: you gave me this name on okcupid
bigsuccor: thought so
bigsuccor: whats up lady!
esty111: draining another cup of coffee
bigsuccor: you sent me a sexual-ish message at 10pm
bigsuccor: usually i dont get those before 2am
bigsuccor: what gives?
esty111: what gives is i’m not getting the dick i want
bigsuccor: haha i like asking questions i know the answers to
esty111: i’ll smack you
bigsuccor: well i’m smart and funny and over-sexual
bigsuccor: and pretty sure i got the d@$% you want
bigsuccor: unless you like small, asymmetrical ones
esty111: you are funny
esty111: this is not quite work-appropriate for me
bigsuccor: well i said d@$%
bigsuccor: could be talking about dogs
bigsuccor: i could be a breeder
esty111: oh you’re a breeder all right.
bigsuccor: mmhmmm
bigsuccor: so i have the perfect dog, slightly bigger than most nyc dogs, but i have a pretty big apartment
bigsuccor: if you’re looking to adopt
esty111: i sort of want a hot dog now
bigsuccor: i’m veg
esty111: oh yeah
esty111: will it gross you out if i eat meat in front of you
bigsuccor: a little
esty111: too bad
bigsuccor: but where does eating come into play?
esty111: eating always comes into play with me
bigsuccor: i like the come over and drink beer with me approach
bigsuccor: we can freeze the beer so you can eat it i guess
esty111: well i could eat a veg hot dog
bigsuccor: true
esty111: they’re disgusting tho
bigsuccor: i can think of something more satisfying
bigsuccor: similar shape
esty111: a real hot dog.
bigsuccor: not exactly
esty111: all beef frank
bigsuccor: closer
bigsuccor: whoa i gagged a little
esty111: yeah this is a pretty bad conversation
bigsuccor: work on finding a day to come drink beer in my bed
esty111: what’s your name?
bigsuccor: john
esty111: never had a john
esty111: i am so hungry
esty111: what do i win??
bigsuccor: you’ll see
bigsuccor: i’m emotionally unavailable though
bigsuccor: so you can fall in love with your prize
bigsuccor: but not anything else ok?
esty111: i get the terms
bigsuccor: now just sign here
bigsuccor: and initial here
esty111: i might need to inspect the merchandise for flaws.
esty111: contamination
bigsuccor: of course
esty111: do not use if seal is broken
esty111: god my day must be so boring.
bigsuccor: haha
bigsuccor: you will like it a lot
esty111: you think?
bigsuccor: yup
esty111: what if i find you unattractive or visa versa
esty111: we still do it?
bigsuccor: haha yes, but that wont happen
esty111: can we have pizza after
esty111: like order it in
esty111: with veggies of course
bigsuccor: its mandatory
esty111: f yes
bigsuccor: we cant lose basically
esty111: we’ll see
bigsuccor: k
esty111: maybe tomorrow
bigsuccor: i might have band practice.
bigsuccor: but if not then yes
bigsuccor: i will know by 5 or 6
esty111: try to know by 5
esty111: i leave work at 5
esty111: like to know what i’m doing when i leave
bigsuccor: you got it
bigsuccor: i’m a little excited
bigsuccor: good job
esty111: good job what, bc i made you excited?
bigsuccor: yup
esty111: that’s atypical?
esty111: and don’t worry about the falling in love thing
bigsuccor: i dunno. i guess
esty111: i could never love a vegetarian.
bigsuccor: i turn down a lot of girls on okcupid, or just ignore them
esty111: i really like meat
esty111: a lot.
bigsuccor: haha
esty111: i’m talking about like, bacon and meatballs.
bigsuccor: fail
esty111: should i bring my lube?
bigsuccor: you like anything other than front entry?
esty111: i like a lot of things, but i am particular
bigsuccor: haha yes bring it
bigsuccor: ps i have a butt fetish
esty111: good bc i don’t have tits
esty111: but i have a big ass
bigsuccor: yum
bigsuccor: rimjobs?
esty111: well i like them.
esty111: but there’s more to it.
bigsuccor: all that matters is that you like em
bigsuccor: cause i cant fuck without licking a butt
bigsuccor: total obsession
esty111: hahahahaha
bigsuccor: what is “more to it”?
esty111: hpv
bigsuccor: who you?
esty111: yup
bigsuccor: pretty sure i have it too. i mean everyone does right?
esty111: most people, at least half.
bigsuccor: yeah i’m fine with it
esty111: i don’t have an “outbreak” or anything.
bigsuccor: cool
bigsuccor: i’m not really scared of hpv at all
esty111: k
esty111: then you’ve answered the “depends
esty111: “
bigsuccor: so tell me more butt stuff
esty111: don’t really have time
bigsuccor: text ***-***-****
bigsuccor: all the butt specifics
esty111: not sure what you mean
bigsuccor: likes/dislikes regarding the booo-tay
esty111: i like whatever
esty111: you could cut me with a knife on the ass
esty111: i don’t care
bigsuccor: buttsecks?
esty111: less interested but open
bigsuccor: k cool
bigsuccor: its not mandatory
bigsuccor: rimjobs are tho
esty111: i’m good with that
bigsuccor: then you win
esty111: okay i have to get the hell out of here
bigsuccor: k talk soon. later!!! see you tomorrow i hope
bigsuccor: (naked)
esty111: clever!

By Kaelan Smith